Are You Expecting? “A Post-Valentine’s Day Memoir”
Disclaimer: I havent posted anything on this blog for the longest time now, so pardon my writing. I’ll try to get back to it when I have more time, in the meantime, enjoy my new post!
Isn’t it funny how some people make a fool of themselves on Valentine’s Day? Or that most people would go out of their way just to please the person they love? Although I get the whole picture of a romance-filled, happiness-induced celebration of the heart, there’s something so unnerving about Valentine’s Day that sometimes gets to me- Why are people only doing this on that day? Of course the obvious answer would be, “because it’s too expensive to celebrate love everyday” or “because it’s the only time when being hopelessly romantic is accepted”. But last night, I got to thinking, what if everyday as Valentine’s Day, would it still have the same impact and effect as it does now? Or are we going to fall into the same rut of doing things out of habit and not impulse?
Exactly about a year ago, I met the man I’d like to spend the rest of my days with, we’re not yet legally married, but we’re getting there *fingers crossed*. From that point on, I knew I was going to be happy, to be in love, every day of my life, as long as Im with him. He accepted me for who I was, he endured the kind of life I lead and he understood what kind of a person I am, all my intricacies, my quirks and my what nots and the others I shouldn’t be sharing to the world. All I’m saying is, around this time of last year, I met the love of my life. And since then, it felt like Valentine’s Day everyday (not literally of course).
And with just a few days left before our first anniversary, just in time for a Valentine’s Day surprise, we had a bit of an argument. An ordeal that may have been underway for a while now, since this year started. I won’t be sharing what went down last night (or who did…hehehe) but I’d like to share some of the things I learned (and hopefully, shed some light to those who are reading this too, who’s more or less, going through the same thing as we do)…
Every relationship is different, in fact, no two relationships are the same, and in every relationship, there are parameters, boundaries and limitations that later on you will learn to let go of as the relationship progress. You create milestones together as if making a daily life plan for each other- at first its endearing, until it becomes enduring- before you know it, you have two full grown adults who love each other more than they realize.
But as the relationship matures, things change, situations get the better of you and before you know it, you’re biting each other’s head off- and although they say a few arguments here and there would do the relationship good, going at it everyday, every week for a month isn’t exactly what you would consider healthy.
I guess what I’ve learned from the past few weeks and months of unforced errors, and unsolicited frustrations is that, we all have to SET EXPECTATIONS.
It probably doesn’t make sense to you now because you havent had a chance to argue about it, or you may have set expectations before, but the fact of the matter is, it’s all about getting and giving the right expectations. It sure didn’t make sense to me at first why I have to do it because as a partner, I know what’s expected of me, but that kind of thinking is also the reason why our Valentine’s Day didn’t go as planned- Expectations.
Such a trivial matter for most people but it’s the one thing that can make or break any relationship- it’s not love that drives that two of you together, it’s the fact that you expect each other to respect, care and love each other, for as long as you can.
I know all this talk about expectations and Valentine’s Day is the least of your concerns, you’re probably still love drunk or love high from what could be the best night of your lives together, but what can I say, some people don’t get everything they want, just what they deserve.
And I think I deserved a good slap in the cheek last night. Do I wish it didn’t happen? No. I wouldn’t have it in any other way. I know its cliche to say that some bad things lead to a few good ones, but I can honestly say, that this is one of the few that I’m grateful for. The means may not have been pleasant, but it sure gave me a whole new perspective on Love, Life and Valentine’s Day.
And for those of you who’s still skeptical about Love and the essence of Valentine’s Day, here’s a reminder that this is…My husband gave this to me a day before Valentine’s Day, proof that it’s never too early, nor too late to have one, in fact, it’s the perfect example that you don’t need Valentine’s Day as an excuse to prove your love for each other- you just need to be, and the rest, will fall right into its place.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Xoxo
G
